HOW FITNESS BECAME SO DIFFICULT

- The Reason You're Struggling And What You Can Do About It -


An invitation: if you resonate with these ideas and you want my help to overcome specific challenges and reach your weight loss or fitness goals, I'll be willing to give you a free fitness consultation. I'll help you figure out the best way to move forward.
Alternatively, call me up at +6 016-9730 448 to find out more.

My name is Felix, and I've been in fitness for 11 years. With your permission, I'd like to share my story that may help you if you're struggling with consistency. I understand your frustration, and I want to help you avoid the mistakes I made.

 
Felix-Before-After.png
 

What I'm sharing can be distilled into 3 controversial ideas:

  1. Relationship With Fitness
    How you FEEL about your habits matters more than the habit itself.
     
  2. Speed "Trap"
    An obsession with speed and results is a trap. It creates a tunnel vision where you don't see what really matters.
     
  3. Balance Is A Necessity
    Neglected areas in life become limiting factors. Remove them, and you will improve exponentially.

 

MY STORY

My journey started in 2004. I hated the way I look, so I decided to attempt weight lost. I picked the most comfortable gym I could find that's within my budget, thinking that a nice gym is all I need to see results.

 

But months went by, and through all the ellipticals, treadmills and pump classes I do, nothing changed. It was frustrating.

 

I read FB posts, articles, then books. Bought programs. Learned diets. And after a ton of fuckarounditis, I decided that enough is enough. It was time to get serious.

 

I doubled down on everything I can think of, and for four months, I:

  • Prepped all my meals.
  • Counted all my calories.
  • Said yes only to healthy food, said NO to ALL unhealthy foods.
  • Cardio mornings...everyday. 
  • Weight evenings...5 days a week.

 

I was living and breathing fitness...and I hated every second of it. But then again, no pain no gain - right? So I willpowered my way through, and lost 13kg of fat, and gained 8kg of muscles. Results!

 

Never mind that weird sound my knee was making. Never mind that my lower back hurts whenever I moved a certain way. I've gotten what I wanted. Girls were checking me out! For the first time in my life, I had abs.

 

I constantly got approached for advice. And the mantra I tell myself and those around me?

"If you want it bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes. No pain, no gain."

 

A year later, I lost it all.

 

It began with the idea. "I deserve a break".  And the idea turned into decision. "It's alright, I've already done it before." And the decision turned into denial, shame and self-loathing for what I couldn't do.

 

I justified my failures. Told myself I was too busy. That I don't care for packs, and all I wanted to do was help beginners find their way. Fuck it. Life's too short. 

 

Soon enough, I got obese again. And with that, enough self-hate to propel me for another 4 months of fitness transformation. For 8 years I was trapped in this cycle of loathing > results > relapse, until I found the idea that would change everything.

 

Lesson #1 - Relationship With Fitness

 

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That is relativity" - Albert Einstein
 

Throughout my journey, I thought that pain is supposed to be a norm. That it was needed in order for it to be effective. But that's bullshit. Pain is just signal. Pain becomes pain when you are looking to avoid the signals.

 

Consensual sex is pleasurable, but if it is NOT consensual, it becomes a traumatic, painful experience. 'Sex' remained a fact, but the 'meaning' of what happened defines our enjoyment of it.

 

The joy of nutrition and exercise depends on whether you want it or not. Not wanting the results. Not wanting the outcome - but wanting to do it simply because you like doing it. And if you like something, you do it often. When you do it often, results come often.

 

You don't need willpower and motivation to watch Netflix. You don't need discipline to go eat your favorite food. Or have sex. Fitness doesn't have to be painful. All you need to do is build up a relationship with all aspects of fitness so you actually look forward to it. 

 

The case studies, testimonials, and before and afters - as well as my own story - is proof. The only question is, how can you make that possible for yourself?

 

The basic ingredients for that is just: Time and Information

 

Just think back on how good relationships normally start. People meet. They spend some Time to get to know each other (Information), and before you know it - one thing leads to another and you got a relationship.

 

People don't start relationships because they HAVE to, they start it because they WANT to. Which is why when people 'force' themselves to do fitness, they're doomed from the start - like forcing yourself to be with someone just because you were lonely...

 

Don't do that.

 

Do this instead:

  • Take it easy: spend Time to learn positive Information about your fitness habits, and let it slowly blossom into a passion. Figure out what's great about the habits (benefits), rather than how much work you HAVE to do to make it work (effort)
     
  • Measure behavior, not inches: track your progress by noticing how much more you enjoy the process compared to when you started, rather than only pure outcomes such as weight loss or muscle building.
     
  • Get coaching. Things are a lot easier when you have a coach to show you what's cool about the habits that creates the results you want, and how to make it easier to practice.
 

Lesson #2 - Speed "Trap"

 

Imagine if you're in KL wanting to go Penang. You take a south road. When are you gonna reach Penang?

 

Never. 

 

In today's world we are so obsessed with speed, it's killing us. Instead of taking us closer to our goals, it's taking us further away from it. Just because we were impatient, we forgot to check the damn GPS before we hop on the nearest highway, hoping that we're using the right road to reach our destination.

 

99% of people in this article is skimming through right now, assuming they already know this stuff.

 

Don't be that person.

 

The irony of human behavior is that they don't spare the time to do things that will save them time, then complain that they don't have time. Don't be that person.

 

...hopping on the nearest highway, driving as fast as they can hoping to eventually reach their destination. Even if they don't know where they are, or where they're going...

 

When you're on the right track, you'll always see results - no matter how small. If you're NOT on the right track, it won't matter how long or how hard you drive. So if you're not seeing the results you want, it's not that you haven't done enough, undisciplined, or not motivated - it's about you placing time and effort in areas that didn't matter.

 

Do this instead:

  • Figure out the Direction first, and see how you can be Consistent with it, before pedal-to-the-metal-ing your way forward. A good Direction to start on is your Relationship With Fitness. The busier you are, the more important this will be.
     
  • Reflect on your thoughts and feelings...every day. If you're not feeling good doing what you're doing, if it is not easy, there is room for improvement.
     
  • Get coaching. You don't know what you don't know, so the best way to figure out what you don't know is to have someone who's been there, done that showing you the way.
 

Lesson #3 - Balance Is A Necessity

 

Very so often, we meet someone who's working real hard right now on something. It can be their body, but it can also be his or her career. Or love relationships. Or finances. Or any of the ten-thousand-and-one things related to life. But they're still stuck. No matter how hard or how long they worked, nothing seems to improve.

 

I used to not believe in balance. I focused all my time and energy in my business, building my finance and what I considered to be "my future". But areas I never thought to even think about (such as building quality relationships) came back and bit me in my behind. I lost opportunities, stagnate, and got overworked and over-stressed trying to do everything alone.

 

8 Areas of Life

Aside from their relationship with their habits and a less-than-optimal direction, balance is a major thing that most people tend to miss. In my opinion based on what I've learned, there are 8 areas of life that needs to be taken care of. I invite you to take a look at all these areas and see which areas are affecting you right now, and see how it relates to Fitness, Success and Happiness:

 

  1. Body - how it performs, it's health and durability, and finally aesthetics
  2. Intelligence - your skills, knowledge, empathy and creativity
  3. Emotions - how you handle your emotions in tough times and in good times
  4. Character - your identity; who you are on the inside that determines your decisions
  5. Spirituality - the work you do in your search for higher meaning and purpose in life
  6. Relationships - with your romantic partner, friends, family, and work
  7. Finance - your income level, its sources, your assets and your stability
  8. Quality of Life - your environment, adventures and experiences, as well as the things you posses that fulfills you

 

Let's take a look at how these areas affect your overall life.

 

In relation to Fitness:

In the micro scale, there's an optimal ratio of how to spend time on facets of fitness like exercise, nutrition, mindset, and relationship with fitness in order to make it work. When any one of these elements are missing, fitness becomes unsustainable, ineffective, time-consuming, and simply suck balls.

 

But aside from these things, if someone doesn't get a handle of their emotions, they'll not be able to sustain their nutrition very long. Likewise, if they don't believe that it's in their character to be healthy and fit, they won't be doing much exercise at all. 

 

The weakest link in all 8 categories determines how far they go in the effectiveness of their fitness.

 

In relation to Success:

Among the 8, there are areas that create Opportunities, and there are areas that develop Abilities. Luck is what happens when Opportunity meets Ability - and there are so many ways to increase both, but few understands this.

 

Your Relationships, Intellect, and Spirituality (passion) creates opportunities. Everything else defines your ability. If you grow both at the same time, not biased to one or the other, you're at the position to be able to snag any opportunity that comes your way.

 

So you see, "Luck" is actually not luck at all. "Luck" is created. 

 

In relation to Happiness:

You can see it all the time; some people have given up on life. They're unhappy with every areas of their life, and for some reason they just accepted the lie that it's not going to be any different no matter what they do.

 

On another side, there are people who excels in certain areas, but are unhappy with another. But once again, they accepted that this is the way it is; that there's nothing they can do about it.

 

But every now and then we meet people do doesn't accept the status quo. They challenge and they fight to ensure that they're happy about all areas of their life - and they usually win the long run. 

 

Is it difficult? Maybe. 

 

Is it impossible? Hell no.

 

The thing is this: the distance between "1%" and "0%" is infinity. Is it really that far-fetched to believe that you have a chance to succeed as long as you open your eyes to the "How can we do this?" rather than "Is this possible or not?"

 

Thing about balance isn't that it's a luxury, as most people perceived it to be. It's a necessity in order to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.

 

Coming back to Fitness:

Problems with Fitness progress very rarely has got anything to do with fitness. In my conversations with clients, the topic tend to start off with the specific fitness challenges they face, but eventually take a turn into areas of their life they overlooked.

 

When someone is limited by either their beliefs, emotions, character, or knowledge about fitness, it's very difficult to make fitness sustainable.

 

So what do we do? Here are some tips:

  • Believe that it IS possible to excel in any areas you choose to excel in your life. Without this ONE belief, nothing is possible.
  • Look at the 8 areas I mentioned and see which areas are holding you back, and start questioning yourself. Ask yourself what are your beliefs about these specific areas? Are those beliefs empowering you, or are they doing you a disservice?
  • Craft vivid visions of your life in all the 8 areas and start figuring out how to achieve them. It's not easy, but you need to start anyway so might as well start now.
 

Final Thoughts

 

I've said it before, and I'm saying it again: Get coaching

 

The fastest path to success is to model those who have come before you. Having a coach not only allows you to KNOW what to do, your coach also helps you to do it either be teaching you how to reduce the difficulty of what you need to do, or improve YOUR ability to handle doing what's needed.

 

Good coaching isn't forceful. Good coaching makes things easy. You feel better after each coaching than before, and there's no guilt-tripping, forcing, or telling you to do stuff you won't be willing to do.

 

Good coaching is the idea behind the foundation of HBCF. You don't need another meal plan, workout plan, or a "policeman" to keep you in check. We see the need in the market and hence we created this. And we want you to come here so that we can help you. This is as honest of a statement as I can make it, and I hope it hits.

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Jump to article:

Pt 1: Confessions of a Gym Owner
Pt 2: Relationship With Fitness - Why It Matters
Pt 3: Speed "Trap" - How Speed Can Be A Liability
Pt 4: Balance Is A Necessity


An invitation: if you resonate with these ideas and you want my help to overcome specific challenges and reach your weight loss or fitness goals, I'll be willing to give you a free fitness consultation. I'll help you figure out the best way to move forward.
Alternatively, call me up at +6 016-9730 448 to find out more.